Part 3: Voyeur

Now we’re starting to get into it… The following scene may be considered by some to be NSFW and involves a woman being watched in the shower.

The First Cut

From FilmmakerIQ.com

 

Simon commented:

Strangly, the shot of Ryan looking in could be longer or use a different entry point. The cut to him seemed jarring. But the speed cut at 1.51 seemed out of place and not in keeping with everything else you’ve done.

Slowness is a directorial decision. :) Building the suspense. I am a firm practitioner of dramatic contrast. Fast->Slow, Funny->Scary…

It doesn’t have the proper sound design/music in it yet so it probably is missing a lot.

But the cut to Ryan at 1:47 (and the two shower shots before it) are something I’ve spent a lot of time on, and I will probably spend a lot more time on because there is still something off about them.

Thurman commented:

In the beginning…between 00:08:16 -00:10:12 Haley begins to thank Kate and Brad as they’re walking which is fine, but then cuts to a closer angle and they’re hugging. It seems like we’re missing something between the cuts, or those two different POV angles don’t match in transition from one to the other.

Unfortunately that’s an unfixable continuity issue – none of the takes have the correct continuity (All the wides starts with Haley leaning on Kate and the mediums/Cu start with them apart and getting ready to hug).

I think I pretty much get away with this right here.

The Second Cut

 

Rich weighs in:

I’ve watched it twice now,

The opening of these scenes, there has been a transition in time from the last scene to this. If you are going to shoot exteriors, I would shoot one for the beginning this scene, and since it is wide, to tie it into the what follows, I would do part of the dialogue under the new exterior shot and remove the first shot, which sort of sticks out as a sore thumb up against the rest of the scene. I do think there is too much dialogue until we get the taser given to her…

00;00;19;00 “Thanks for coming, things are a little blurry now, but I am going to be ok” I would first tie that all together so it was like a continuous running sentence, and do that over a slow zoom or pan of the exterior of the house then remove dialogue and cut to

00;00;22;00 “OK We will be back in the morning”

00;01;12;11 Check if starting there might be more powerful start frame

I like very much the dissolve to him coming into frame

the zoom into his eyes, i might use to build up tension and use the wide part of it between the shots at00;01;40;00 and then when you cut back to it, maybe repeat the action slightly. The speed up works with the audio quite well, I will hold off on comments about this until you get the full first cut in, but it definitely could be a motif element.

If you notice, my comments are getting less and less, because your editing is changing as you get farther into the film. Your editing is evolving, as is the story. Start trusting your instincts and don’t over intellectualize ever cut (We all fall into that trap all the time, because we know everything, while the audience knows only what we have shown so far) One of the best things you can have in editing, is a friend you can observe watching the edit (yep we watch people watching what we do all the time) and getting their first impressions, and if they know what is going on….

It’s going very well, can’t wait to see what happens next…..

 

 

Next: Editing in the Dark Fun with a Baseball Bat

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